"The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions - the little,
soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look or heartfelt
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
"I do not believe in a fate that will fall on us no matter what we
do. I do believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do nothing.
... Let us renew our determination, our courage, and our strength.
And let us renew our faith and our hope."
-- Ronald Reagan
"They say that the security arrangements for the up coming
presidential inauguration will be the most extensive in history.
And that's just to keep the Bush twins away from the bar."
-- Craig Ferguson (2005)
"So what's the difference between republican and democratic forms of
government? John Adams captured the essence of the difference when
he said, 'You have rights antecedent to all earthly governments;
rights that cannot be repealed or restrained by human laws; rights
derived from the Great Legislator of the Universe.' Nothing in our
Constitution suggests that government is a grantor of rights.
Instead, government is a protector of rights."
-- Walter Williams
"Fear Factor" is being sued for two and half million dollars by a
Cleveland man who said watching the show made him vomit. I guess he
has one of those rare TVs without the off switch."
-- Jay Leno (2005)
"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold:
patriotism, morality, and spiritual life. If we can undermine
these three areas, America will collapse from within."
-- Josef Stalin
"In offering to you, my countrymen, these counsels...that they will
control the usual current of the passions or prevent our nation
from running the course which has hitherto marked the destiny of
nations...that they may...warn against the impostures of pretended
patriotism - this hope will be a full recompense for the solicitude
for your welfare by which they have been dictated."
-- George Washington, his Farewell Address
Unlike the Republican Party, we believe our values unite us as
Americans, instead of dividing us. Today, I propose a progressive
vision for America, a vision that Democrats must fight for in the
months and years ahead - a vision rooted in our basic values of
opportunity, fairness, tolerance and respect for each other."
-- Sen. Ted Kennedy, National Press Club 01/12/2005
"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power."
-- Lao-Tzu (570-490 BC), Chinese philosopher/father of Taoism
"The judiciary of the United States is the subtle corps of sappers
and miners constantly working under ground to undermine the
foundations of our confederated fabric. They are construing our
constitution from a co-ordination of a general and special
government to a general and supreme one alone."
-- Thomas Jefferson
"To prevent inquiry is among the worst of evils."
-- Thomas Holcroft
"To reach college athletes, the NCAA announced they are launching an
anti-gambling campaign on the Cartoon Network. You know what's sad
about that? Not the gambling, but the fact the best way to reach
college athletes is the Cartoon Network."
-- Jay Leno
"The doctrine of blind obedience and unqualified submission to any
human power, whether civil or ecclesiastical, is the doctrine of
despotism, and ought to have no place among Republicans and
-- Angelica Grimke
"Habit is the denial of creativity and the negation of freedom; a
self-imposed straitjacket of which the wearer is unaware."
-- Arthur Koestler
"Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must
first be overcome."
-- Samuel Johnson
"No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be
vigilant in its preservation."
-- General Douglas MacArthur
"Free elections are the byproduct of a society where citizens accord
certain rights to their government. Free elections cannot be a
byproduct of societies where regimes accord certain rights to
their subjects, eliminate their opponents and brainwash their
population with hate education."
-- Yoram Ettinger
"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the
final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is
stronger than evil triumphant."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929 - 1968)
David Letterman.... "Top Proposed Changes At CBS News":
Stories must be corroborated by at least two really strong hunches;
"Evening News" pre-show staff cocktail hour is cancelled until
further notice; Reduce "60 Minutes" to more manageable 15-20
minutes; Change division name from "CBS News" to "CBS News-ish";
If anchor says anything inaccurate, earpiece delivers an electric
shock; Conclude each story with comical "Boing" sound effect;
Instead of boring Middle East reports, more Powerball drawings;
To play it safe, every "exclusive" story will be about how tasty
pecan pie is; Not sure how, but make CBS News more like "C.S.I."